thanks for the presents!

i can't believe it.
i'm sick!
its post-christmas sickness, thanks to all the leftover goodies that are left lying around my house, enticing me to eat more of them.
overdose of that = what i am currently feeling.
bad sore throat, irritating headache and fever.
only fell sick last night so my day out with kate had to be cancelled.
so sorry bout it, kate.
i so wanna meet up with her! :(
there goes our lunch trip to billy bombers as well~
we'll definitely meet up next week, i promise! :)



ytd movie outing with 0720 was FUN!
i thought i was gonna be late meeting them at amk hub at 3,
but turns out that we weren't going to nebo anymore.
spent the afternoon helping xy choose her working attire!
shanyi had to keep insisting the silky silky one was "VERY NICE TO TOUCH!"

andd i nearly fainted when they were looking at an ankle length skirt.
not that i have anything against ankle length skirts but those kind looks like those that a 50-year old primary school teacher would wear, threatening to trip her any minute and make her land flat on her nose!
xy has such nice legs which shouldn't be hidden beneath that kinda skirt! wahahahas.
in the end she went for a yellow blouse and a white skirt.
they both looked pretty good, andd lucky for her,
someone lent her the members card which entitled her to a further discount! xDD

dinner was at sumo house.
its a budget place but the food there was pretty good,
andd the environment was not too bad~
waited for eunice to make her way down to amk,
when she nearly mistaken the meeting place to be at ps!
blur sotongg eunice~ hahahahas.

kim arrived 5 mins before the show started,
and none of us wanted to miss the front part,
even though all of us(excluding eunice) have already caught it at least once.
no one can beat xy's record.
twice at the movies and 4 times online!
bet she can memorise all the lines of the various actors already~! hahahas.
watching the show another time made me realise that Jasper's pretty good looking!
movie ended around 10+ when i headed home and that's whenn my fever started. great.


anyways,
MANY THANKS to chia, eunice, kim, joan, peiting and xiangyu for my belated bdayy present!
xDDD

OMGS!
i've actually been saving up to buy this book, but by the time i actually save up enough, it'll be long sold out!
apparently its selling damn fast now!


can't bear to open it just yet,
but i will soon! :)


i super duper love this scene,
cos it reminds me of a cinderella story! its so magical and perfect!
bwahahahs.
THANKS GUYS! love you all to de max!


also, this is some charm thing that eunice got us from her holiday to China!
the chinese writings on the charm is an ancient form of writing, only mastered by a handful of people! COOLNESS~

lava lamp from my parents xDD
look at the blings!


many many blings~!

andd lastly, present from dear.
the musical box!

the J <3>

i love the tiny little handle!

bwahahahs, its too cute!

i love it loads loads LOADS!

okays, not too long a post today,

my head's starting to throb painfully again.

i'd better be well by tmr so i can go out for countdown to 2009!

the new year's here once again, how time flies~

[[ 沒原因 就是喜歡妳, 就像海眷戀 天空般 的心情 ]]

mondayyyy~

i can't believe both my sisters have blogs.
my youngest sis has been blogging for quite some time already,
whereas my 2nd sis just started!
their blogs are not bad to read,
YES! now i have more blogs to visit!!!
bwahahahas.

twilight with 0720-ers later,
can't wait to see edward cullen again!
i cann watch the show continuously non-stop,
but at least i won't be shocked when i see eric again.
the hottest guy in the movie is still Carlisle(its pronounced car-lile) Cullen!
mann he's HOTTER than Edward himself!
but Edward's not too bad~
just that it could have been better.

more importantly, can't wait to meet up with 0720 peeps again!
i always have fun when i'm hanging out with them!
crazyyy bunch of people~ wahahahs.


dear's school starts today!
he's having serious monday blues.
CHEER UP!~ school sucks but you cann do it!
jiayou jiayou~


more de next time!



[[ but you got what it takes to set me free, oh you could mean everything to me.]]

deck the halls!

MERRY CHRISTMAS tO ONE AND ALL!! (hohohoho!)
hahahs xmas was as usual, FANTASTIC!
its christmas! what more is there to say?
food, presents, family, frens! can there be any other perfect combination?
this xmas, i went to a total of 3 christmas dinners this year!
luckyy luckyy me! (maybe its to make up for my missing xmas dinner last year! lols!)

1st xmas dinner this year was steamboat at laogong's place.
i haven't eaten steamboat in the longest time!!
yeahh, although there's alot of stuff i don't eat,
but i still enjoy steamboats to the MAX! xDD
dinner was yummmy-licious!
andd there's my absolute favourite part of xmas.....
.
.
.
.
LOG CAKE!!!!!

*what will i do without you during xmas??*
laogong's aunt bought it, chocolate with yoghurt centre!
ultimate sweetness!! xDD


2nd xmas dinner was at homeee~(24th dec)
my parents bought a TURKEY from cold storage.
(still got alot alot left in the fridge lahs, i've been eating turkey sandwich for breakfast for the past few days since 24th)
laogong was coming over for dinner too!
my sisters and panu brought one fren along as well!
so it was rather crowded for christmas dinner as compared to the usual 6 of us only.


i got a shock at how big the turkey was okay,
when i saw it lying there on the kitchen tabletop!
i know now that when Mr. bean got his head stuck in the turkey,
they weren't exaggerating about the turkey's size!
i used to laugh thinking its a really stupid thing that a person's HEAD can enter a turkey's butt.
plus, i had always thought the turkey was fake!
come on, how BIG can one turkey grow?
okay, but they weren't kiddingg..
.
.

i don't even know how it can FIT in the microwave,
which isn't very big btw.
i can nearly imagine my parents huffing and puffing to stuff the turkey into the microwave!
but i thinkk it fit in perfectly~
my mom also cooked curry chicken,
my absolute fav!
although that's not really christmas dinner material,
its an exception for her curry because it raeally goes well with anything, anywhere!
she also bought tons of sushi, andd nearly the entire bakery!
there was so much bread to go around.


dinner was yummy but i've never been more fullin my life!
my sis made brownies that afternoon,
which she served as dessert together with vanilla ice cream.
delicious, but i knocked my plate off the table by accident and there goes my dessert,
even had ice cream splattered all over my shirt.
i cannot be happier that dinner was at home so i could easily select another shirt from my cupboard and change immediately!
could i be any more careless? lols.


that day has gotta be my careless day cos i was trying to serve val's fren, april, some salad when i accidentally swung back, and my elbow knocked into her head,
andd the veggies that i had kiap-ed with the tongs ended up in her curry.
luckily, i knocked someone who's very giggly,
andd she just ended up laughing,
along with everyone who saw that incident happen.
my dad bought champagne specially for xmas as well,
andd we all got a chance to drink it!
first time drinking champagne for me,
andd i love it!
there really is this bubbly, fizzy taste to it!
i could get addicted to it, seriously. lols.

countdown for xmas was together with laogong.
no we didn't go to town, neither did we go anywhere else.
just slacked at home cos it was already pretty late to go anywhere else and i had a curfew at 2..
so much for curfews, my sis only got home at 7 the next morning, even when the 2 o clock curfew applied to her.
i'm never believing in curfews again.
i love laogong's present! wahahahs.
it was a musical box, with the cutest ever little handle,
when i turn the handle, i can produce the SWEETEST, most tingly tune ever!
i kept turning and turning it just so i could listen to the tune over and over again!
i hope its lasting and will allow me to keep turning it continuously without breaking!
i have to be very careful with it,
i absolutely can't break it! its wayyy to precious~







woke up the next morning to something GREAT!
.
.
.
LOGCAKE AGAIN!!!
this one was given by cold storage,
compliments for purchasing the turkey.
100%chocolate!

i polished off 1/4 of the cake that morning,
and the other 1/2 of it the next morning for breakfast!
nobody else wanted to eat it,
how cann anyone NOT wanna eat something so fantastically delicious?
i would die without logcakes for xmas! lols!




that night, laogong's extended family was holding a chalet at pasir ris,
andd that was my 3rd xmas dinner!
how luckyy that their extended family can celebrate xmas together with all their cousins.
yx was there too! wahahahas.
the food was good, i thinkk their grandparents must have passed down the right culinery skills to the other generations.
most of the food was cooked by dear's relatives,
andd it was not bad at all!
dear also cann cook well, same goes for yx.

i'm beginning to suspect if one's cooking skills are hereditary..
if it is, i must have gotten mine from my dad.
he cannot tell the difference between a garlic and ginger if you ask him,
andd his legendary rice is neither rice not porridge when he cooks it without a rice cooker!
his stir-fried veggies are also extremely tasty cos he added nearly 1/3 the bottle of oyster sauce.
yepp, my cooking skills are definitely from him! =DD

reached home pretty late that night,
but thanks to the coffee, i was able to survive until 4+ without feeling like i'm about to drop dead any minute, still had energy to talk to laogong on the phone for awhile before i really went off to dreamlandd~





26th december:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YANLAN!
finally, all of us are 18!!!! lols.
we don't have to leave you outside the cinema when we're gonna watch M18 movies le! xDD

it was a busy dayy cos my entire house was about to be repainted!
you cannot imagine how TIRING it is to repaint the house by yourself!
just finished painting the balcony,
but yesterday, we did my room!
luckily, dear came over to help out!
my and my sis gave up halfway~
hahahas.
its really not an easy feat.
BUTBUTBUT, my room is now coated in a warm orange-peachy colour and i ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT!
the walls were already tough enough to handle,
but the ceiling was the worst part!
not only do you have to crane your neck to breaking point,
the energy needed to not only hold the paintbrush up,
but also to paint the ceiling is enough to kill your arms.
my arms are currently, still sore.
what can i say, i failed inclined pull-ups,
my arm muscle, is ZERO!~ lols.
BUT we had fun messing around with the ceiling before we painted it!
mwahahahas!

xDD


dear did the word "love" and i did the word "justin"
its not simple at all, i had to jab the ceiling repeatedly to form his name!
hahahs but it looks so good there!
if only we didn't have to paint it over~ lols.

andd after an entire day of hard work~
.
.
.
the end product!

okays, can't really see from this picture.
when i have the time and energy,
i'll take a nicer pic.
the orange colour of the wall really makes my room looks brand new!
wahahas. i love the colour alot,
no matter how weird it sounds to paint my wall orange!

andd my parents got me a BLING lava lamp for my xmas present!
its not the normal lava that moves up and down,
mine has like silvery glittery glitter that circulates within the lamp,
and when i turn it on at night,
it fills my whole room up with ripples,
very much like light on reflected water!
its absolutely STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL andd it is mesmerising to watch the blings float about in the lamp!
its gonna be my new nightlight and i'll be able to have a good sleep every night!
(that's until the electricity bills come in next month and my parents start nagging at me not to have my lamp turned on every single night.)
shall worry about that another time~

laogong's got sore throat, falling sick alreadyy! :(

get lots of rest rest rest and drinkkkk alot alot alot of water!

don't fall even more sick!

the only good thing about him getting sore throat is that his voice is super sexyy now. LOLS!

its so super low and rough~ xDD

laogong, you must take caree and not fall even more sickk~

[[ theres only one thing two do three words four you, i love you~ ]]

3 days to xmass~!!

woots! i passed my BTT!
loads of other people are sitting for BTT too,
as i have seen from their blogs.
but the difference between me and them is that they will continue on with learning driving.
whereas for me, i can only stop at BTT and continue next year when i really have the time.
dun worry peeps, as long as you've studied for it,
should be a piece of cake for you guys!


went to the zoo on friday too!
been a long time since i last went to the zoo!
andd the first time i was going to the zoo with dear, as well as his mum, aunts and little cous.
wahahahas.
DID YOU KNOW: giraffes have like the longest ever peeing time. it should have been at least 3 full minutes. i dunno about other animals but comparing to humans, that's AMAZING! how on earth do they have so much pee?
we spent half the day in the zoo.
luckily for us, the sun wasn't too strong that day.
went for dinner at bottle tree park near yishun,
it was a great place for dinner, which was outdoors!
the weather was perfect for dining even without any air-con!
its so difficult to find places like that in singapore,
thanks to the weather we have here.

i'm sucha last-minute person that i've only started christmas shopping... today.
i hope there's enough time! lols.
OHohohoh, i went to watch twilight with dear.
it was great!! i know the book is way way better,
but the show wasn't too bad.
i still can't believe how eric and jacob black looks like!
so so different from what i've imagined.
but mike looks somewhat the same.
it was overall still nice to watch,
and i wouldn't have missed it for the world.
WHEN IS NEW MOON COMING OUT???
i'm still gonna catch it with yx and 0720-ers though,
i dun mind watching it another 912837182738217832 times again!


oh gawd, i can't believe how quickly 2009 is advancing onto all of us!
its gonna be one heck of a hectic year,
not a good year indeed.
i'm not really looking forward to it..
i've been thinking of my new year resolutions.
working harder sounds like a good but impossible resolution.
how bout spending lesser on unnecessary things?
more about that another time!

[[ catch a fallin` star]]

i feel old....

guess wad?
my youngest sis got into yckss as well!
woohoo, 3 of us sisters got into the same secondary school.
had to wake up at 7+ this morning to go all the way down to yckss to register her for school.
i can't believe that 6 years ago,
that was me walking into yckss for the first time.
everything wasn't that well-organised then,
the first thing that hit me hard was a feeling of nostaligia.
i remembered the adventurous feeling i had of entering a mixed school!
new friends, guy classmates, new subjects, new environment,
it was a whole new experience!
and now when i think about it, it feels so...far away..
hahahas like that was 98932849823 years ago.
i'm seriously growing old man...

anyways, i'm sitting for my basic theory test in 45 mins time.
the book had better let me pass,
i'm not gonna sit for the test a second time,
its crap enough to studyy it once.
the things inside are all so... correct!
like, "what do you do when you drive across a puddle of water?"
Answer: you slow down to avoid splashing water on pedestrians.
yeahh right.
if that's the case, why is it that i still get splashed with rainwater everytime i'm walking by the road on a rainy day!
like the driver's gonna care if you end up soaked to the skin thanks to his driving.
the answers are so... correct that nobody in their right mind would follow it,
which makes studying it rather stupid.

i'm going to the zoo with dear after my BTT too!!!
ZOO ZOO ZOO here i come!! xDD

SHOPAHOLIC IN DE MOVIES! *screams*

I'm sure all of you have heard the GOOD NEWS!
shopaholic is coming to the movies!!!!
this is something i've never even heard of until i saw this big big shopping bag
along amk hub that time!


i cannot be happier!
but i've got a very strong feeling the book's still gonna be better than the movies.


BECKY BLOOMWOOD!
she's exactly the same as what i imagined!
a cute yet sophisticated hottie!
i still have no idea how luke looks like,
hope he's as hot as the book describes.. although i highly doubt it.
it totally sucks when the movie actors doesn't tally with your imagined one,
eg. edward cullen. (or perhaps i've imagined him too perfect!)

twilight's supposed to come out on the 18th dec,
but because of sneak previews, about 981273812738178372 other people have already watched it. i'm gonna catch twilight ASAP!!
-looking forward to it anxiously!-

sigh.... robert just can't be edward cullen...
but bella's freakin` hot! *protests*
i bet edward cullen would fall for this girl instead of the real bella in the book if he ever saw her.
ohwells. still really excited to catch twilight!!



china square central with dear todayy.

BEWARE: retarded looking photos coming up...
(do yourself a favour, and not scroll down)
.
.
.
.
.

BOO!
(ohmygosh.... remind me again why i'm being sucha good sport putting this up?)


i cann really see ???? floating above passer-bys as they stare at us.


WAHAHAHAS!


ROTFL! cute constipated face~ =n.n=


camwhoring there is perfectly normal,
but these poses are enough to bring us onto STOMP,
with headlines screaming "GOOD ENTERTAINMENT AT CHINASQUARE."
*prays and hope that nobody took any notice of us*


anyways, yx msg-ed me in the afternoon asking " how does a mistletoe look like?"


as you've seen in storybooks,
or xmas cartoon shows.
but out of curiosity, i passed on the question to dear.

me: you know how a mistletoe looks like?

dear: yeahh... its the malay dish, looks like mee siam one..

me: ?????

it was only seconds later i realised he heard me wrong and mistaken MISTLETOE for MEE SOTO.

dangs.

i nearly cried, laughing so hard.
yeahh they do sound rather similar,
but why would i not know how mee soto looks like!
hahahs, dear is just ultimate cuteness with his always-hearing-words-wrongly syndrome!
LOLS!

[[ forever we'll be, you and me ]]

blogging mood is backk!!

okays. i've come to my senses;
its ridiculous to give up blogging cos i can't upload 98123821783 pics up at one shot, and have to rely on the uploading-5-pics-at-a-time thing.
(i know i've repeated this a gazillion times!! can't blogger just improvise?? its no wonder everyone's switching to lj..)

missed out blogging on loads of stuff, i know.

1. macau trip:
shopping there was dirt cheap(at zhu hai). the tour's good to join only if you have a day to waste.
food's pretty good, i guess. for seafood lovers, there's a whole street where you can feast like a king for a very reasonable price. For those with seafood-phobia(like me), terrible idea to go for dinner there cos any kind of food, other than seafood, it sucks.

macau's good for... relaxing. casinos aplenty for avid gamblers!
WORD OF CAUTION: never, in your entire life, ever attempt to cross the border between zhuhai and macau on a SUNDAY! you get stuck there, squeezed sardine-tight to another 9827837873 other china people, for at least 4-5 hours, for nothing. other days it only needs less than an hour. trust me, the amount of people there is scary...
from what i know, casinos there are pretty tight so don't expect to win, but look forward to donating your $$ to help sustain the economy of macau. shopping there is high end, really not your dream shopping paradise.
food there is wanton noodles, wanton noodles, and MORE wanton noodles! oh, there's macs if you get too bored of having wanton noodles everyday.

andd i DID go to hong kong, for less than 12 hours.. lols. Only for the ocean park. What can i say, its a really good workout! exploring the entire park ON FOOT is enough to cover 5 PE lessons! wouldn't be able to compare to seaworld in san diego but the exhibits there were not too bad. Just the walking part which made me whine alot, and left me tiredd and sweaty. I think it wouldn't be too bad if i were expecting alot of walking, but the thing is, i wasn't! i thought it would be pretty small and at least flat land. it was hills over there man! upslope, downslope! but ocean park's pretty cool to visit if you're in hong kong for a holiday.

andd that concludes my year-end holiday to zhuhai, macau and hong kong.



2. Prom night.

what can i say. my pictures are all over facebook(for that week), random people can even tell me my make-up's on too thick. anyways, bad bad make-up, but good good experience! prom was more fun than i imagined. actually, all you need are your frens there and everything just turns out okay!

post prom was at butter factory. only a handful of 0720-ers went, but it was tons of fun!! overall, it was a great night out and that's more or less for prom night. LOLS.


3. yx's birthday (dated: 12th dec 2008)

went to sentosa to celebrate her birthday this year! its a lucky thing we were all on holidays, or just finished their term tests. Friday was a pretty good day to go to sentosa, but NOT the friday before zoukout. nearly the entire siloso beach was sealed off to prepare for the event and we wasted the time to walk there only to realise that it was off-limits.

we(meaning birthday girl yx, cheryl, yanlan, dear and me) were gonna have a picnic lunch there along the beach. went to the other beach instead of siloso, andd it was alreadyy quite packed over there. we chose a rather out-of-the-way corner to settle down for lunch. yx made sandwiches and we brought along other snackies and drinks too, but we had brought too little food, and apparently, it wasn't lunch material but more like breakfast.

to our utter surprise, there was a group of people there who had ordered too much food, and they gave us 8 packets of nasi bryani and a whole tray of curry puffs! so there, our lunch was settled! lucky us~ but the food was still too much in the end, since there were only 5 of us and we ended up passing on the remaining untouched food to some other people.

denn we headed to the two tall brown thingys there, okay i have no idea what's that called.
the place where you can have a good view of sentosa given that you climb up the 5 flights of stairs.

tadaaas~ we did climb all the way to the top.
the view was too good that yx and cheryl had to do a remake of titanic!

cheryl: i'm flyingggg~



sentosa!


birthday girl and cheryl enjoyingg de scenery and the wind!



we had to keep bothering tourists to help us take pictures!
wahahahs.
dear and yanlan were too lazy to climb down and go to the opposite block with us,
which we insisted had a better view than the other block.



lols. i have no idea what pose is this.
.
.

but this is act cute la. lols.

finally, since the two lazy pigs were so absolutely certain on not moving,
we had to climb back down, and return to the other block.
guess why they didn't wanna move?

dear found a chair to sit on!
no idea what a chair was doing up there anyways.
he was not willing to leave his beloved chair behind,
and risk it getting sat on by other people! xDD

we sat there for a couple of hours,
just chatting and snackingg until cheryl finally had to leave!
so it was bbyes sentosa for us!

me&dear

yanlan, yx and cheryl!

it was only until we reached harbourfront, did we realise that cheryl did not have to rush off anymore! so headed to carl's jr for dinner~
hope you had a great 18th birthday yx!
many loves from all of us, you're finally 18 and getting OLDER! =D

okays, should be a long enough entry.
oh yeah. painted my nails green 2 weeks ago.

yes it looks monsterish, demonish, or mutated,
and i would paint it green again if not for the fact that the stupid nail polish turned my nails yellow!
it may have been that i have left nail polish on my nails for too long,
or that the nail polish i had used was of lousy quality.
but i'm still blaming the green nail polish for my sickly, spoilt-looking yellow nails! *groans*

[[ you're de only one for me ]]

A rich businessman had a beautiful daughter,
who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner.

When the girl's father came to know about their love,
he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.

Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a
happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but
could not find them.

At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come
back home in a local newspaper. Her father said 'If you both come
back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved
each other truly.'

So in this way, their love won and they returned
home.

The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress.
He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the
road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and
hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only
after sometimes that she recovered from her shocked. The funeral and
cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.

Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in
which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the
blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But
her mother ignored the dream.

The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it.
Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear
and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the
clothes which have blood stains immediately.

She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the
same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained.

Next night she again had the same dream and this time
the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or
else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her
best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still
remained.

She was very tired..
In the late evening the same day while she was alone
at home, someone knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the
same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared
and fainted.

The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue
object, which shocked the girl. She asked 'What is this...?'

The old lady replied....

' Try DYNAMO Liquid Soap ... just a dab and it will
remove all stubborn stains!!!' ...

*waves white flag in the air*

i give up! i really really HATE blogging pictures.
why?
1) bloody blogger only uploads 5 pics at a go. (and its not like its up in a minute or two, it takes 4-5 mins to load!)
2) i'm a noob at using photobucket because the pictures either turns up too big or too small and nothing on the website or anywhere is helpful in helping me find out how to solve the problem
3) i took a total of 800+ pictures and although i'm not gonna upload ALL of them, i have a pretty strong feeling that i'm still gonna upload most of them, and 5 at a time sounds really bad...
4) the weather is really hot now, i'm still deprived of sufficient sleep and am not in the best of mood.
5) shall upload the next time, whenever that is.



grad night's in two days time!!
i can't can't can't wait!
should be tonnes of fun~
but somehow graduation always gives this feeling of goodbye.
from the past two graduations i've been to,
there were millions of 'let's keep in contact!" but i only see a handful of my pri/sec school frens nowadays.
then again, singapore's not very big anyways, everyone's bound to meet again sometime, someplace, so its not too bad.
can't wait to see all of my frens dressed in their best!
wahahahas.



anyways, i know i'm super lagged in the news area,
but i just got to know of de singaporean who was shot.
feel so sad for her.
its so unfair that she was just at the wrong place at the wrong time..
haiis~
the world is a super chaotic place now right..
with this, and the whatever thailand airport stopping all flights.
wars here and there and everywhere..
i dun even wanna keep up with the news..
just as long as everything's safe and peaceful here in sg~



p.s. i'm still blaming global warming for the warmer weather in singapore.. the heat is getting to me, andd the sun's not even out!