HEARTBROKEN!

i cannot believe,
that no matter how much faith, and effort i put into queuing for those flh tix...
fate still pulled me away from them.

its really heart-wrenching when ur the no. 51st!
at that moment, nothing mattered more than that ONE TICKET!
andd i was so wishing that someone would pull out.
my fingers were crossed,
i was hoping and prayingg!!!
but, all 50 tickets were fully redeemed.
and that's not the worst part.
the worst part was..
after one of them got the tix,
she bloody came out to try to sell it to us at S$200!
i would give anything in the world to slap her at that point.
she didn't bloody stay overnight.
she got her frens to help her queue.
andd fine, if she's gonna see flh, den fine.
she bought extra tickets, CANCELLING OUT MY CHANCES.
to make more money.
andd what's even more infuriating???
SHE SUPPORTS JIRO ALSO!
even went to cut his hairstyle which so doesn't suit her!

i've never been this discouraged and disappointed in my entire life.
this is by far the worst moment of my LIFE!
i skipped school for two whole days,
spent an entire night sleeping on the stupid hard floor
with bugs for company.
(thank god for the rain)
but other than that,
still have to take those shit from the batch of people earlier than us.
its really crap.

i know i should be telling myself "its okay. at least u tried. u really tried"
but why do i still feel so rotten inside.
and those damn reporters!
only noe how to dig for more news.
PEOPLE NOT HAPPY BLIND AR!
andd that lianhe wanbao.
I WILL NEVER SUPPORT LIANHE WANBAO FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE!
cold blooded idiots.

me and my frens were the 50th-56rd.
andd after us the next batch of people only came this morning.
very FAIR MEH?
then they didn't get the tickets KPKB.
make the situation worse only.
TROUBLEMAKERS LA.
sore losers.
even we also not complaining they complain wad.

大東，
我是真的好想好想见你一面。
我尽了我最大的力量可是还是无法去看你那一面。
真的好失败。
有时我也觉得好自私，我知道你们也需要自己的自由空间，
但我只想见你那么一面，就一面我就心满意足了。
我只想看我一直以来永远支持的偶像，
而我又没有靠缘分什么的，我靠的是我自己的力量。
没想到这样还是无法如愿以偿。
算了吧，无论如何，我还是会抱着那个希望，
就是一直会等到能面对面看到你的那一天！

永远支持你的FAN.

this is the only time i cried so bad since...last year.
why are all my major bawl sessions in october?
i must watch out for next october.
as i rode back in the taxi to amk hub,
its like returning to reality once again.
andd reality, REALLY SUCKS.
for the past two days,
i only had one and only one thought in my mind,
"get my hands on the flh tix"
but once that is gone,
its like waking up from a really nice dream.
IN THIS CASE, a nightmare.

suckier still,
had to go to polyclinic and wait...
i've had enough of waiting,
my eyes hurt so bad, my legs are so sore,
andd i think i stink so bad, even houseflies are attracted to me.
after tht, on my way to the bus stop,
walked past vcd shop selling zhong ji yi jia OST.
denn fine, i told myself i'll jus listen to my mp3.
but my mp3 are all full of FLH songs.
i dun wanna hear or listen to anything about FLH these few days,
ESPECIALLY THIS SATURDAY.
or i'll jus start crying again.

went home, took a long nice shower.
give u all a very helpful tip.
the next time u all feel like crying,
jus go and take a bath.
cry along with the showerhead!
it really works,
andd its the second best option to gorging an entire pint of ice cream.
if ur those kind who takes long baths, say 30 mins?
denn cry longer lor.
those short short one, like 10, 15 mins,
denn too bad lor, lesser cry time.
felt soooo much better.
cried until i had enough of crying.
opened my laptop, only to see guilong.
teared again, but i thinkk i too tired to cry alr.
like panda eyes is not bad enough already?

i dun wanna think about anything,
i jus wanna go straight to bed and sleep till tmr morning.
i dun blame anyone for me not getting the tix.
i dun blame myself,
although they started queuing on saturday night,
i was sick so i couldn't possibly make my way down.
i dun blame 93.3,
(although i was hoping they would increase the no. of tix)
if they had jus increased by 10 more.
OH I BLAME THAT STUPID POSER!
gawd can't stand her.
HOW DARE SHE imitate my jiro.
and deny their fans from seeing them,
and turn this entire thing into a profit making venture.

but when i heard some of their stories on how they chase flh,
i dunno whether to feel sorry for flh or feel sorry for them.
on one occassion, they tracked down the hotel flh was staying at,
andd actually booked a room one floor above them,
denn still say can see wuchun doing push-ups in the balcony.
can't the guy even work out in peace?
without having those eyes watching his muscles work?
as much as he loves his fans,
i'm sure he wouldn't like that.
if he truly enjoys that, then..
erm... yeahh.. weird.

denn on one time,
i have no idea what the fans were thinking,
but they went to knock on the door of their rooms.
poor jiro can't sleep in peace.
this one i'm totally on flh side,
how annoying is it when someone actually wakes u up from ur sleep?
(which is why its a lucky thing i'm a deep sleeper)

but those fans have really put in alot of effort.
i really admire them alot.
i thinkk all of them deserved the 50 tickets.
well, except tht POSER(hatehateHATE)
and a few others.
one group of them even flew all the way from indonesia!
wuchun/aaron fan.
andd they'll pay $100+ each for a cab to track down flh the min they are in singapore,
from the restaurants they go to to the shops they shop at.
its abit sad to leave feilunhai with the impression that we're so kaisu.
everywhere they go we must also follow.
like as if they'll disappear into thin air and not turn up for the singapore hits award show the minute they lose sight of them.
i hope all those 50 fans will truly appreciate how lucky they are to get their hands on the tix,
and not attempt to SELL THEM OFF!

ohwells, one thing good from this is i made a few good frens.
kareen, aileen,may, michelle =D
they're really sweet people andd i hope to see them at the next feilunhai meeting session again!
BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW.
abit the sian.
anyway, heard the good news too!
0720 promoted as a class! =DD
congrats to all!
owww...major backaches and leg cramps!

[[ 没有谁能把你偷离我身旁 ]]